If Only You Knew
by XFangirlingx
Summary: A year after Cosmo's death, Miles Prower is still distraught and haunted by the memory. His friends make desperate attempts to help him with his grief, but to not much avail. Noticing a sudden change in the plant growing from her leftover seed one day, however, Tails' life soon changes course when a miracle happens. Will his prayers finally be answered? (Tails, Cosmo)


Prologue- Broken

_Tails_

It has been a year today.

A year since the Metarex attacked our planet, stealing its source of power and nearly killing all life on it, or, at the very least, forcing its inhabitants to leave due to in-habitability.

A year since I, along with my crewmembers, had to go to war with the aliens, fighting with our only power to stop their attempts.

A year since the love of my life, Cosmo, had given herself up to save the universe, using her final form to stun the Metarex and hold them in place while I was forced to shoot her with the Sonic power cannon, ending her life for the cause of salvation.

I still remembered the last moments like it was yesterday, and no matter how much I wanted to forget it all, I spent countless nights lying awake, staring at the ceiling while the moments replayed in my head time and time again.

_It was mid-battle, and all seemed hopeless. Our planet without its egg, and the chaos emeralds stripped of all of their energy and power, the Metarex were simply able to drain our life energy from our bodies. All of us except one- Cosmo. As she was from the same planet as the evil creatures, and also because she was halfway under their control and power, she was not affected by the drain. Using this to her advantage, she took her chance and took the emeralds with her to face the enemies herself. I watched helplessly as she ran up the long branch paths to where the leader sat, quickly being scooped up by the long branch. She lost the emeralds, all of them falling to the ground while she was high up in the air. It looked hopeless for her- but an inside conversation with her mother calmed her fears as she finally realized how this was to end. It was time to finally serve her lifelong purpose as a Seedarian- she was to evolve into her final form, studding the Meterex's power._

_As she evolved into her matured form, she developed into a new, beautiful profile. Her hair was now longer, gracefully flowing down her back. Her stature was now more mature as well. As she took her place in front of the Meterex, permanetely stunting their power, she explained her plans, her purpose, and her orders to me and the rest of the crew. We all understood what this meant- I was to fire the Sonic Power Cannon into the Meterex core to destroy them once and for all. The only problem with this seemingly flawless plan was that, in doing this, I would also be killing her along with them. _

_The others took a moment to let this sink in, and although losing their friend was not the best option, it was accepted as the only option. There were tears, of course- but they all knew their places, their duties. I was given orders, by Cosmo, Eggman, Sonic- to shoot, but I had not yet accepted this exception. I was not about to carry out a plan that meant losing the one I loved._

_After taking time to think, arguing that there had to be another option, I realized that this truly was the only choice we had in saving the universe. My crew, my friends.. they had given their lives to fight for the life of the universe. Cosmo.. she had given her life to fufill her purpose of being the savior, the one to bring an end to the terror. It would be selfish of me to keep her alive, as this would mean that all was given for nothing._

_I had no choice- I was going to have to shoot._

_As I readied the cannon, I swallowed back all the internal screaming to stop this, end this now. I held back the tears as I talked to her, letting her know how much I appreciated all she had done, how much our time together had meant to me. Most of all, I made sure to voice how much she herself had meant to me, carefully focusing on details of her importance. As I knew I was running out of time, I took a final moment to breathe. I couldn't hold back anymore as the tears started to run down my face. I forced myself to punch the button, charging the power cannon and finally shooting the fatal beam. As the light traveled toward her, I watched her smile one last time. I knew this was my final chance to tell her my true feelings, so pushing back all of the fear, nerves, uncertainty.. I screamed my final words of goodbye: "I love you." The beam made an impact, exploding in a wave of light as I screamed for her._

_Bits of light rained down as Sonic and Shadow finished the deal, giving one last attempt at Chaos Regeneration while they sealed away the evil, and Cosmo, forever. I collapsed onto the floor of my ship, sobbing with my head between my knees and wrapped in my own twin-tails. She was gone- and I had watched it firsthand. Not only that- I was the one behind the fatality._

_A soft and distant voice surprised me. I jerked my head up to see Cosmo's soul form, standing in front of me. She was smiling, her eyes kind. "I will never forget what you have done for me, Tails," she whispered, coming toward me. "Thank you, for everything." She got down on one knee, and I stared in awe, silent. She took my face in her hands, and leaned toward me. I felt her lips on mine, but it was light- almost nonexistent. This didn't matter though- I took in the final moments before she dissapeared into the sky. I frowned after her, watching her form separate herself from this world, and me, for the final time._

"_I love you," her voice echoed across the sky. My heart beat stopped for a few seconds after this. The love of my life had admitted her own love for me- and now she was gone. _

-_**Present Day, End of Memory**_

I snapped back to reality as there was a knock at my door. "Tails?" It was Amy. Her voice was full of worry- like usual. "You doin' okay?"

I felt guilty. Since Cosmo's death, I had barely spoken to anyone. I couldn't help but to keep to myself and my own thoughts, locking myself in my room and only occasionally socializing. I felt pathetic- but I couldn't change this, no matter how hard I tried. Her death had taken a part of me with her- and left a giant, pained scar in place of that piece. And the fact that her blood was on _my _hands had only made this feeling worse.

Despite this, I hated making Amy worry. Pulling myself out of my bed, I walked to the door and opened it. Amy stood there, a plate of cookies in hand. When she laid eyes on me, they lit up. "Oh, there you are!" She exclaimed, now bright. "It's so good to see you! Could I come in for a moment?"

I nodded, stepping back to let her through. _"_Hey Amy, sure. Come in." She walked past me, and I shut the door. She turned to me, smiling. "I made these for ya," she said, holding out the plate in her hands. "Chocolate chip- your favorite." I accepted her gift, giving her a smile. "Thank you," I said, setting the plate down on my bedside table. "Please, take a seat," I added, motioning toward my bed. She sat, and I sat beside her.

"We miss you," she suddenly said, frowning at me. "We barely see you anymore.."

This made me feel terrible, as I felt it was unfair to treat my friends this way- they had no part in killing her. They were not at fault for this.

"I'm sorry.. I just.. I'm trying, but.." I didn't know what to say. I looked down at the floor, giving up. I felt her frown deepen, but after a moment she answered with "I understand. What you went through.. it was unimaginable. But Tails.. it was for a good cause. You _saved the universe_. So did Cosmo. She did what was right.. although it meant the worst for us." I could hear the pain in her voice at the mention of her name. It felt like a stab in the heart.

"I know that it was _so hard_ and absolutely terrible for you, especially, but.. we are all _so_ proud of you. You took it like a champ."

I shook my head. "No.. you shouldn't be proud of me. I murdered her in cold blood.. and I am sitting here, separating myself from reality, making you all worry about me like _I _was the one who suffered most. It was her. She suffered most. She had to give her _life _for the universe's sake. And it was all.. because.. of those.. damn... Meterex."

I slammed my fist down, hard, on the table. I bit my lip to keep from screaming in anger, swallowing back the lump in my throat.

"And look at me now.. throwwing.. a tantrum.."

Amy came to my side, quickly comforting me. "Tails.. don't say that. You have a right to be upset.. you had to deal with the most trauma out of all of us. You did suffer. Those Meterex got what they deserved though, so don't you worry.."

I stood up. Seeing that I was about to break, Amy wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a hug. I stifled my scream in her shoulder, and let the tears flow. She held me tightly, rocking back and forth while I cried out all of my words, emotions, and pain. She whispered comforting words, shushing me like a loving mother shushes her crying newborn. Luckily, I felt safe enough to show my truest feelings around Amy- she was like a sister to me, and no matter what was always there to comfort and listen to me.

After I had finally let everything out, I wrapped my arms around her, and we stayed that way for awhile, holding each other in silence. We needed no words- both of us knew how the other felt. I thought about Cosmo's last goodbye once again, my heart beating a little faster with every word of it.

I knew she was up there somewhere, watching over us now. What she thought of me, acting the way I had over her death, I had no idea.

I hoped that she knew that I was always thinking about her, and that I loved her.

That would be enough to keep me at peace.

_~Fangirling (Author's note will be with next chapter)_


End file.
